Finding Peace........

When I talk to some people about peace, some say, I want peace or I want to find peace or peace is hard to get. I tell them you already have peace, peace is inside you and you just have to accept it. Peace is the calm when the mind is quiet. Peace is the present moment that you embrace and enjoy. Accepting peace is letting go of the material and embracing life. You are life. Stop thinking. Once you stop thinking and your mind is quiet you will notice all is well. You have no problems, you are at peace. The thinking mind does not want peace. Pay attention to the thinking mind and you will see how it makes trouble whenever you find yourself at peace. One of my friends noticed when it happened to him. He was bothered by something small and was ready to let go of the small 'problem', when his mind decided to add more ‘trouble’ to the pot. Because he was aware of what his mind was trying to do, he was able to let it pass and not let the thinking mind drag him down into a spiral of anger and pain. Awareness is the key. Once you are aware of the games the thinking mind plays, you are able to stand back and watch it go away and let peace shine through.

Gray Areas

1 day I was talking to a friend of mine and we were talking about life and difficulties of living it. I remembered something an actor (Christopher Judge) said, "There are no gray areas, when you think you have a gray area, then you are doing something wrong" I had to think about that statement and I look around and could not find a gray area that added any value to life and living. Think about it, maybe I am missing something, where do gray areas fit? They are convenient for fudging lines or leaving room for a way out of something. People say things are not cut and dry, black and white, however things are very simple. You do or you do not. You can or cannot. These are simple decisions. If you kind of do...or somewhat do...you are in a 'gray' area. Does the gray area help you? Does the gray area accomplish anything? Think about it and let me know if I am missing something.

Competition......

There is nothing wrong with some friendly competition. I think competition helps people strive to be their best. I think you should compete more with yourself than others. I think losing is just as important as winning. I like to play games. I enjoy a good game more than I enjoy winning. I let the win be a bonus on top of the fun of the game. I have found if I focus too much on winning and I lose, I forget about the experience leading up to the loss and become very frustrated. When I stay in the moment and enjoy the game as I am playing it, the experience is a lot more enjoyable than whether I win or lose. When you compete to prove you are better then your opponent, you are doing this out of ego. You are trying to reduce your opponent and raise yourself above her or him. This brings an old saying to mind, it is not whether you win or lose, it is how you play the game. Play fair, have fun, enjoy the total experience. You should ALWAYS do the best you can in whatever you decide to do. Enjoy the journey and the destination.

Awareness of the ego

Awareness is a big step on the road to peace. Once you are aware of your actions and reactions, you should try to view your actions as an outside observer. You will notice there is a part of you that behaves without your conscious knowledge. This part of you is the ego. The ego is unconscious behavior. For example, think about how you feel when someone insults you, a loved one, or your favorite possession. The insult does not cause any physical harm, however you immediately, without thought, react to the perceived insult. You are ready to cause mental and physical harm because of the insult. The ego uses these unconscious actions or reactions to strengthen itself. The ego likes negative emotions more than positive ones. Negative emotions are easier to invoke. For example, if you play a sport and you play 10 games. If you win the first game, you feel great and the ego wants this feeling to continue. So you play three more games and if you lose all three, the ego will start down the negative path. If you lose two more games, the ego is thriving off of your negative view of yourself. You start calling yourself a failure and a loser. By the tenth game you are angry at everyone and everything involved. You lash out, you become hostile. At this point the ego is in full control. Once you are able to see the ego in action, you will see the road it takes you down and that road leads to temporary happiness and more often than not, no happiness at all. The road to peace means the death of the ego. To bring death to the ego, you should start observing it, do not fight it or give it energy. Let it pass and start accepting peace.

Here is a saying that helps: When something bothers you, let it pass like gas. It may stink but you will live through it.

Accepting what is......

The biggest road block to peace is accepting what is. Here is an example. You go to a coke machine, you put in your $.75 and press the button. Nothing happens, you press again and nothing, no cold tasty beverage waiting for you...nothing. You get angry and you stay angry. Now the initial reaction is understood. You were anticipating a cold, tasty, refreshing beverage, instead you got nothing. Some of us will let it go and go on with our lives. Some of us will not. We will hold on to the event and be angry for several hours or even days. When this happens you are not accepting what is. You lost $.75...that's it.....do something to get your money back (legally of course) or let it go and move on. Accept the situation, change it if you can (again legally) and continue enjoying your moments. If you have a failed relationship, deal with the emotion, accept that the person is no longer in your life and move on. If you lose a loved one. Accept the fact they are gone, celebrate your life and move on. Some would say that is heartless. No it is reality. If you cannot change a situation, you have to accept it. If you do not accept it you will be a slave to the situation and the (negative) emotion it brings. Accepting what you cannot change will bring peace into your life. If you are constantly angry or sad or frustrated over something you cannot change you will miss precious moments of peace and happiness. Change the things you can and accept the things you cannot.

What would you do if..........

What would you do if you only had 3 months to left to live?  I was asked this question at my 40th birthday celebration.  My answer was nothing.  I can not think of anything I would change in my life.  This is an important question because many of us wait to live our lives.  (I know this is similar to my previous post).  We say I can do this tomorrow or I will change that tomorrow.  However when faced with an expiration date, we realize we are not living as we wish.  If you require a countdown to help you determine how you really want to live your life, then you are not truly living.  It should not take the end of your life to make you want to live your life.  We are not here forever none of us know when our lives will end, do not wait for tragedy or illness to make you open your eyes and see how truly beautiful life is. So ask yourself, if you only have 3 months to live what would you do?

If not now, when?

Happiness to me used to be anticipating the arrival of certain events or items. The reason I used to do this was because I was not pleased with my current moment. I did not realize this at the time, I know this now. Now I enjoy being happy now. When I hear or read about a new movie or gadget, I say to myself "Wow, that looks like it will be fun or exciting." then I continue to enjoy my current moment. Gone are the days of me waiting and hoping for a better or happier time in the future. I realize the only true time to be happy is now, you have to embrace every moment and love living every moment. Every moment you wait to be happy is a moment of happiness you miss. Choose happiness now and you will not have to wait for it.

Who am I?

I was talking to a friend at work and I asked him, "What would you do if you did not have your job?" he said he would probably die because his job is his life.  Let's think about this for a moment.  Are we our jobs?  Are we just mothers, fathers, CEO's, Doctors, Janitors, Police Officers, Teachers? or are these our occupations and roles?  We have been taught to believe we are what we do.  This is not true.  We are much simpiler.  Life is much simpiler.   We are beings capable of amazing things.  We should not limit ourselves with labels.  We should not let things make us who we are, we should enjoy the things in our life.  If we lose our jobs, our homes or possesions, that will not the end of us.  They are things.  Life does not require a title or an object to make it worth living.  Life does not need to be defined.  Life should be enjoyed, lived and loved.  Remove the labels, live and love.   Every moment we live is a wonderful moment.